The Little Boy Inside

Posted by Steve Nyhof on 17 March 2011 | 2 Comments

Stevie boy didn't know what to do with this new information he was being told from his father. It seemed contradicting and it hurt more than anything he can remember.

Stevie boy didn't dare to cry because dads are always right, and dad's love their children. But Stevie boy was afraid of being alone. Somehow this had left a sharp pain, a seemingly large hole in his heart. But being only a young boy, who trusted his father, didn't know what to do about it. It just hurt.

But something new happened today. Stevie boy found a new friend, big Steve! Turning and looking up to me when I called his name, I smiled at him and he smiled back, knowing instantly that he was no longer alone.

I said, I know you are hurting, and it's ok to cry. So I lifted him up into my strong arms and held him tight, and we both cried together. Both of us feeling the very same pain.

I could still see in his eyes that he was still afraid. Afraid of not knowing what to do or what to think. He counted on his father to be his hero, his savior. Without dad I could hear him thinking - I would die! I held him tighter, assuring him he was going to be alright.

In a short time I felt his small muscles relax, and the grip he had on my neck loosen. I set him down on a chair opposite from me and looked into his eyes. Stevie boy I said, I need to tell you something. This pain you feel will fade, but it will never be forgotten. It will be a constant reminder of the love that only Jesus can fill.

You see, you can only see a giant hole left from words that left you in fear, but I know now that it is actually a blessing. With that he wiped aways the tears still left on his cheeks, and his eyes grew a little bigger, dancing back and forth as he studied my face, anticipating with the hope he already knew I was going to share with him.

I said, you have been relying on your father all your life, and I have too. I said that I loved God with all my heart, but I recently found out that I really didn't. Our faith and trust had been in our earthly father. The hole that has just been made is so large that only God can fill it. What a blessing it is to know that your heavenly Father can now fill the hole, the void you feel, with a perfect Love.

Shifting in his chair a little, knowing I was not done, he breathed deeply and said, tell me more. I smiled back at him watching his eyes as he was being made aware that the night was over, birds were singing outside and the smell of Spring flowers filled the air. I could sense that he was being set free, that the world he once knew was small compared to this new reality.

I said, there is no reason to be angry with your father. Do you know he was also hurt when he was a boy just like you? He was nodding his head, letting this information settle into his young mind. I watched as tears again began to well up in his eyes, and mine did too. A sadness came over his face and he reached for my hands which were folded on the table that separated us. We held each others hands and cried again, only this time for the pain of our father’s childhood.

After a minute, Stevie boy spoke again and said, Steve, I am so glad that you took the time to learn about this. If you hadn't, I would have lived my whole life in fear, pain and bitterness. I had become very angry over the years and felt ashamed of myself for thinking poorly of others. I judged them because of their sin, but now I feel sorry for them; for their pain.

I nodded my head in agreement, respecting this little guy for who he is. We both got up and took each others hands. I said I think you have grown a little sense the last time I remember seeing you, messing up his hair. We both laughed, knowing he is me, and I am he. I said I want you to meet a Friend of mine who is just like us. He has a little boy who is also Himself. And so we walked out into the warm sunlight, telling ourselves what a great day this is going to be.

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  • Thank you Dr. Charlie for your feedback! I know I have been over busy with lots going on, but you have been like a father to me throughout the last few years.

    Posted by Steve Nyhof, 24/03/2011 8:55am (12 years ago)

  • Well said, Steve. The power a parent has over a child is enormous. Rather than learn the lesson you illustrate so well here, we often pass along our personal traumas from generation to generation. God bless you for pointing this out.

    Posted by Dr Charlie Smithdeal, 20/03/2011 8:29am (12 years ago)

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